If you had to step over piles of clothes, papers and unidentifiable "stuff" just to get to your kitchen table, you're not alone. Studies show that although families are smaller, homes are larger than ever. Even with the current financial crisis, we're still taxing our credit cards and filling up our spaces with more. We've been led to believe that things bring us happiness and it's a hard habit to break.
What a good professional organizer must do then, is to uncover what's really going on underneath all the stuff, which can often be painful, but life changing too.
Clutter and too much stuff robs people of so much. It destroys intimacy, it promotes tension and steals playfulness. All of which are key to good relationships. The stuff takes over. It robs you psychologically. You can't be at peace.
If one person in the home tends to perpetuate clutter and disorganization it can be like living with an alcoholic. The family becomes pivoted around the clutterholic and the relationships become strained and tense. At first glance it may not appear as serious as substance abuse, but when you scratch beneath the surface you are likely to find feelings of resentment and lack of respect.
Everyone feels the effects of the clutter. One of my clients complained, "I can't do the things I want to do with my kids because of all the piles. I can't help them with their homework because there's no space. My relationship as a dad is compromised by all the stuff in the house."
Once we get over the fact that we don't need the stuff and that all that stuff is actually hurting our relationships we realize that what we need is each other.
Are you hiding behind all your clutter? Is it a way to avoid intimacy? Take a look in your bedroom before you answer that question. If there's stuff everywhere, ask yourself why. It doesn't matter if you're single or have a partner - you can't nurture yourself or others while you're wading through stuff.
Think about the people you love and what they mean to you. Wouldn't you trade your entire house full of stuff if it meant keeping them with you just one more day? People first. Then things.
